09.07.2009: Today was surprising, in fact the entire week has been awkwardly surprising. Once again, this was one of those weeks when you feel like as though the world suddenly became bigger? Much bigger than it physically is. Today, was the day when everything was cleared and that truly no stones were left unturned, with every issue being addressed and every feeling made known. I guess, today wasn’t surprising. I knew it was coming and I was hoping it would come sooner than expected. But I’m cool with what’s on the table now. It was the kind of response that you will be shocked to get but, it’s all covered because I have already thought hard about it long ago and hence, I have sort of resolved my own personal baggage. So here I am, coming clean. Nothing to hide, no more codes, sign languages or whatever.

In retrospect, I think it was a common case of mixed signals, wait – “confusing” signals that was given by both parties. Especially when it comes to feelings or matters of the heart, there could be nothing less detrimental than a complicated display of reverse psychology or reverse-reverse-reverse psychology. The lengths we go, just to suppress whatever we have for the sake of others. It’s truly amazing. An art? Well, at some point, it becomes too abstract.

At the end of it all, whatever it is (was), I think I’m glad with how things have been going for now. Closures are never easy, especially when it concerns the people close to your heart. But they are, nonetheless, necessary. “The truth hurts, so we lie?” Nah, the truth hurts, so we DEAL with them. I guess, this applies to almost everything in life. We may plan certain things, we may even be hell sure that it’s the ONE. But, it’s just not in our capabilities to determine them and so we accept whatever the outcome may be. In the words of Ted Mosby from “How I Met Your Mother”, “don’t plan your life like how a building is to be made, it’s never the same…go with the flow, and one day, it will come to you..don’t worry about HER, she’s on the way here…running as fast as she could. So, be patient.”

As for now, things for me are rather uncertain. But whatever it is, when the dust finally settles, I hope things between us, (all of us) will be the same, if not better. It is really all part of the script. Thus, I am truly reconciling myself to fate.
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