i need my wisdom walk.
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this is because the world in itself is a mad place (:
my faculty? is hawt, cool and awesome, all at the same time!
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okay, let's start with the music. "the greatest day" is officially out. no more nice :( seriously, what's so great about the day anyway. the current song that i'm addicted to --> michael jackson's "gone too soon". there's something about the song that makes my heart sink, reminding me of the significance that something or someone can bring to a person's life.

death. parting. end.
it all seems to be gone too soon.
the promise, and the hope of something great -
all seems to be gone too soon.

like a rainbow, fading in the twinkling of an eye
like a sunset, dying with the rising of the moon.

that sparkle is no longer there. that talent has unfortunately died. it was, like a castle built upon a sandy beach. it was a mistake, that i could have avoided otherwise.

shiny and sparkly, and splendidly bright
here one day, gone one night.

shhh. no questions. no more.
listen, it's all gone too soon.

and i do not wanna talk about it, anymore.
please, i need the space.
i've yet to eat it, (it's still there hidden in my fridge) but thank you :)




*my condolences to:
Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009)
Yasmin Ahmad (July 1, 1958 - July 25, 2009)

it's all in the script
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the new semester jitters are back!

MODULES DILEMMA.
bidding on CORS, all over again.
ONE YEAR LATER.

* i can't find my twitter password :( shit.
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Monday, November 13, 2006

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it's really amazing, the effect some songs have. (at first, it was poker face..now it's THIS)
but i really think this song is evocative. it's for now my anthem on my ipod/itunes :)

Say you'll stay, don't come and go
Like you do..
Sway my way, yeah I need to know
All about you

And there's no cure, and no way to be sure
Why everything's turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired - I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now it all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon
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09.07.2009: Today was surprising, in fact the entire week has been awkwardly surprising. Once again, this was one of those weeks when you feel like as though the world suddenly became bigger? Much bigger than it physically is. Today, was the day when everything was cleared and that truly no stones were left unturned, with every issue being addressed and every feeling made known. I guess, today wasn’t surprising. I knew it was coming and I was hoping it would come sooner than expected. But I’m cool with what’s on the table now. It was the kind of response that you will be shocked to get but, it’s all covered because I have already thought hard about it long ago and hence, I have sort of resolved my own personal baggage. So here I am, coming clean. Nothing to hide, no more codes, sign languages or whatever.

In retrospect, I think it was a common case of mixed signals, wait – “confusing” signals that was given by both parties. Especially when it comes to feelings or matters of the heart, there could be nothing less detrimental than a complicated display of reverse psychology or reverse-reverse-reverse psychology. The lengths we go, just to suppress whatever we have for the sake of others. It’s truly amazing. An art? Well, at some point, it becomes too abstract.

At the end of it all, whatever it is (was), I think I’m glad with how things have been going for now. Closures are never easy, especially when it concerns the people close to your heart. But they are, nonetheless, necessary. “The truth hurts, so we lie?” Nah, the truth hurts, so we DEAL with them. I guess, this applies to almost everything in life. We may plan certain things, we may even be hell sure that it’s the ONE. But, it’s just not in our capabilities to determine them and so we accept whatever the outcome may be. In the words of Ted Mosby from “How I Met Your Mother”, “don’t plan your life like how a building is to be made, it’s never the same…go with the flow, and one day, it will come to you..don’t worry about HER, she’s on the way here…running as fast as she could. So, be patient.”

As for now, things for me are rather uncertain. But whatever it is, when the dust finally settles, I hope things between us, (all of us) will be the same, if not better. It is really all part of the script. Thus, I am truly reconciling myself to fate.
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a sudden craze.

of sushi and gaga!
there is something seriously comforting about sushi, i don't know why but it's the sort of food that you appreciate in times when you're having the so-called "time out" (how ironic is that? - the supposed snack should have been the actual time-out or kit kat chocolate, but what the heck) from everything. it's the kind of food that you need before something huge or something life changing is about to take place.*laughs. i'm actually laughing my ass off at the kind of statements, not forgetting the level of maturity that i exhibit in that previous sentence. i know right, i'm so full of crap. well, what can i say..it's all thanks to boredom.

gaga! okay, i've always thought that people who listen to lady gaga are crazy people. i mean LOOK at her! she's like the epitome of quantum weirdness, in every aspect of her life. but lately, thanks to the faculty's rag auditions - pokerface has been stuck in my mind. and to console myself, I ONLY LISTEN to the more musically-worthy version, which is the one that she sang with the piano. it's really nice, the variations and the pseudo-jazzy (macam fahams) swagger that she introduces to the piece. very classy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laIr_d0hFB8



can't read my,
can't read my..
no you can't read my poker face
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so here i am, sitting with my mac, feeling really bored, eating my one and only, pathetic pseudo sushi - the one that has baby octopus. though unauthentic, it was still as awesome :) i was thinking about someone, then TEE called to talk to me about the same someone. HAHA. this is just crazy. plain ridiculous. i feel like an idiot. lol. i must be really bored, wait.. I AM BORED.

anw, from the numerous photo tags on facebook, it's pretty obvious that i'm actually BACK from C-H-I-N-A!

the youth expedition was really cool, and as cliche as this may sound, it was really, like seriously enriching. not many words can be used to describe the experiences of the trip. i did many things that i would not have normally done here in singapore and in addition, i think i've learned and gained a lot in terms of religion, understanding/accepting people with respect to their individual characters, values of humanity and the act of giving. to a large degree, i think i've sort of changed in many ways than one. and i thank YOU for this opportunity :)

to juffri, salman, azhar and lastly my buddy for the trip - imran: i thank you guys for guiding me in almost everything that i do, and just so you know, you guys have played a significant role in strengthening my faith further. thank you for everything. not forgetting all the crazy nonsense that we did while we were up in the mountains, i'll definitely treasure those moments and i thank salman for capturing all of it on camera with captions for memory's sake! i will certainly miss praying at the mosque/dorm with all you people.

to the rest of the girls, especially hajjar/farahs/hanisah (CHEESECAKE!)/soefie (who bugs me ALL THE TIME)/hamizah/farhana/hanan/rina/janice/lisan/wanlu/yanqing/radiah - thank you for being such nice people everyday. helping me to wash my plates/fork/spoon+++ hahaha and many other stuffs. thank you laa! :)

lastly to my family and friends who have been supportive all along :)

thank you.
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